Today is better. Today Jackson is with us and we are grateful.
As I'm typing I look over at him as he stares at me with those huge brown eyes just as he has done everyday. He's looking at me almost like he knows I'm writing about him.
For those of you with dogs, especially Labs, you'll understand me as I say this...Jackson is really never too far from wherever I'm working.
Until the last few months when it became increasingly difficult and then impossible for him to get himself up, he always made his way over to whichever room I was working in. Sometimes I'd tell him that I was only going to be a minute in the other room yet he still made the effort to follow me only to have to get back up as I moved about the house. Sometimes I lingered longer than I really needed to in the room he had just moved into because I knew it wasn't easy for him to get there. If he'd made the effort to be near me I could make the effort to slow down a bit.
So as I read some of your comments and have been thinking about life and death in general. I realize that Jackson's life is not really ending but just transitioning.
We are using a facility called Journey's End to help us with Jackson. Journey's End is a vet and her staff who come to your home and make the transition as peaceful as possible. I like that Jackson will leave us from our home where he is happiest and most comfortable.
Anyhow, my Mr. and I got to talking last night and thought a better name might be Journey's Beginning or THIS Journey's End. I can't tell you what exists after this life but I do believe that people and animals leave this life only to enter a different existence...something much better.
So as the tears fall down my face, yes there will be tears of sadness but not for Jackson but for those of us he leaves behind. We are the ones that will be sad because we will miss him and will feel the void that his passing will create in our lives. However, at the same time, I will cry happy tears. Jackson will move on and be whole again. That beautiful spirit that still remains will continue but this time with no limitations of his body. I imagine him running again, free of aches and pains. That makes me happy.
So today I will dwell in the HAPPY...